By Shannon Lochwood
Engagements are blissful and filled with days of showing off the ring, telling the story about the proposal and buying every bridal magazine in sight. Those first few weeks are the Honeymoon phase of engagement…and it’s all about the giddy newness of the moment. Then the ring settles on the left hand–still catching your eye, but not in the same “I can’t believe I’m engaged’ way as before—and the wedding planning begins.
Some couples designate who plans what for the ceremony and reception, while other couples dually plan everything. In some relationships, one person just clocks out. It happens. But no matter who plans which details, you need to make sure that the planning doesn’t overshadow the love and romance of the relationship.
Planning a wedding is work, and the planning can become extremely overwhelming and stressful. Sure, it’s fun to pick out a dress, taste test the menu and nibble on cake slices. However, there is a reason why many engagements last a year—it takes that long to get the details just perfect. And that hunt for wedding perfection can quickly sour a relationship.
Don’t fall prey to planning stress, and don’t let the details eclipse what’s really important: your love. While ironing out the details might seem important, take time to reconnect with your partner and nurture the relationship. Keep the love alive—and the chemistry explosive—with a few healthy relationship habits:
Hang Up to Hang Out
When the planning gets tough and the wedding vendors are hitting up your cell nonstop, hit pause. Call your partner and plan an evening out—or in. Binge watch Netflix or go to dinner. Spend time together and don’t talk about the wedding. Don’t mention the vendors. And just enjoy each other.
The constant need to go, go, go is the story of our lives. And it’s so tempting to just keep going with the planning to map out all those little details…those loose ends that just need to be tied up for the wedding. When you’re constantly in go mode, it’s time to stop and enjoy the present. Yoga and meditation help center the body and mind. By focusing on mindful breathing, the body learns to focus on the here and now. Turn down the lights, pull out the yoga mat and let the postures flow. You’ll feel refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to curl up next to your beloved.
Don’t Forget to Say ‘I Love You’
Planning turns into business. And somehow this big life changing event has morphed into a debate on whether to choose red roses or pink tulips. Your relationship begins to be defined by the wedding, but the wedding should be defined by the relationship. Pull back the reins and remember one simple phrase: I Love You. Say it daily and mean it. Because that’s what the wedding—the vows—are about.
Take a Holiday
Grab your partner and head out for a weekend getaway. Go on a glamping trip, escape to a nearby bed and breakfast or travel a bit farther. Take a vacation together to get a break from the wedding business. Even if the budget is strapped because of the big day, you can still pitch a tent in the woods, curl up together in the sleeping bag and cuddle under the stars.
You’re not an old married couple…yet. Your love life should not have to be planned out and scheduled. Keep the fire on by staying spontaneous. Don’t take wedding planning into the bedroom, and definitely don’t pull out bridal magazines in bed. The bedroom is for fire…not tulle and flowers. Swap out the planners and glossy magazines for the Kama Sutra.
Wedding planning can be fun, but those details also may take a toll on your mood…and maybe even your relationship. Take back the love and dial down the stress. A wedding is about the love between two people…not the color of the flowers or the lace on the dress. Stay connected, stay sane and make love not wedding planning war!
Check out more articles written by Shannon Lochwood for more wedding planning tips: His and Hers Vintage Style, Wedding Workout to Look Flawless on your Big Day and Potential Problems for the Allergic Bride.
(Photo credit: Blush Sky Photography)