Last week we introduced you to one of our favorite couples of all time, Jake & Taylor – the power couple behind The Relationship Project. They gave us insight as to who they are as a couple, what the Relationship Project is all about, what they love and admire most about each other and shared their favorite fall date night ideas. They literally make our hearts melt.
If you missed part one, click here to check it out – and if you’re here for more amazing advice from these two, keep on reading! 🙂
How do you use your strengths and differences to navigate through your relationship?
T: We have so many differences! From morning person to night owl, we are almost complete opposites. I think what helps us through is knowing that at the core of who we are we do have the same values. We’re also trying to learn how to use our differences to strengthen our relationship and sharpen each other rather than dull us and pull us apart. His strengths are my weaknesses, and vice versa, so when we approach situations we try to keep that in mind and pass the ball to each other when we can.
J: With the resources that we’ve accumulated over the years of figuring out how to grow ourselves and with each other, we’ve managed to find a common ground of compromise and willingness to “dance”. What I mean by that is that our relationship is always moving, always fluid, but with certain boundaries. We’ll try our best to communicate to one another our differences and how we can navigate through it as a team instead of us being on opposing sides. We’ve found that by doing so, we end up with a more successful outcome regardless of what differences we come across.
When you got engaged, what preparations did you take to ensure a beautiful marriage after the wedding day?
T: We actually didn’t plan our wedding at all—we hired wonderful planners to take care of everything and that special day so that we could focus on planning all the days after. We really looked at our wedding day as the start of our marriage and often couples look at it as an end to an engagement. The finish line. For us, it was the starting line and we wanted to set ourselves up for success. We really believe that your wedding day won’t be the happiest day of your life. It should be all the days after that, you know?
J: We did quite a bit of prepping for our marriage, both logistically and spiritually. We talked about everything to do with finances, living situations, regular day to day habits, and family connections. Some of these topics were hard to cover because of our own insecurities! We also talked about spiritually growing together.
Photo Credit: The Relationship Project
What should newly engaged couples discuss/plan for before saying I Do?
T: We took online courses together, attended events, read all the books, learned new things together, did long term and short term planning, worked out budgets and household roles. We had hard, honest conversations about sex, family, children, health, and emergencies. We learned how we communicated, our conflict habits, and our egos. We discovered how we both learn best and fail hard. And, most importantly, we made time to play together. We knew we wanted a marriage full of fun, security, and love so we worked on cultivating and practicing those skills before we said I Do.
J: We did this because we knew that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives, and growing together as a team will be something we needed to practice every day. I personally think that these topics are ideal to discuss with one another before saying “I Do” since both your lives will be intertwined from that day forward–the forward part is what matters.
In today’s society, and divorce being almost too easy, how do you succeed? What advice can you offer to couples?
T: That’s a great question, it’s hard for couples these days when we’re told that relationships are convenient, easy and disposable. Because, let’s be honest here, a REALationship is the opposite of those things most times. It takes hard work, it’s not always convenient to put in that work, and there’s no way to succeed by throwing it away. How can we succeed unless we acknowledge those expectations and communicate them?
J: Taylor and I talked about “divorce” many times even before we got married. We came to the same page that divorce is not an option for us, so we’ll have to make it work! It takes practice, over and over, to see our mistakes, and have second chances at it to better the relationship and better ourselves. If it takes 8-10 times of trying before we get something right, we’ll do it.
T: Everything changed for us when we decided that it was okay to try and make mistakes. That we would still stay together and remain patient even when it was hard and we were learning. I think by being generous with your partner and committing to being learning partners takes away those expectations that often force us away from the growth a REALationship requires.
J: If there’s any advice I could give to other couples, it would be to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. They are trying their best at that time, and so are you. You can always communicate and look back at what happened, figure out a strategy “together” as a team, and execute that strategy for the next time.
Anything exciting happening that we should know about?
T: We have an exciting new event we’re bringing to Vancouver that’s happening on October 26, 2017. It’s a date night Panel Discussion Event for REALationships featuring 6 relationship experts and we’re PUMPED about it!
J: We’ll be diving into the nitty gritty of REALationships and answering all kinds of questions. And with free wine, we know we’re going to have a blast!
T: We’re so thrilled to be bringing something different to Vancouver and seeing this different vision for events come to life!
Interested in their event? Click on the links below to grab tickets and to receive more info! And if you’re looking for more amazing tips, advice and relationship inspo – pop over to their social media pages below and tell them we said hello! 🙂